Over the weekend my parents were visiting for Thanksgiving – my favorite holiday. I thoroughly enjoy this holiday because there is no pressure for presents or from the church I don’t belong to anymore. All that is expected is to reflect on what goodness I have, to say thank you to the Universe, I love you and to eat and visit with family and friends.
It was during this time, on an unseasonably warm Thanksgiving weekend, that I slipped into my backyard to quietly tackle the piles of leaves that were finally released from our grand oak trees. I don’t mind yard work - especially when it is entered into on these rare and easy terms. My nose wasn’t running from the cold weather, I wasn’t pressured to have-to rake because a snowstorm was on the way or I had a neighbor who was giving me the hairy eyeball from my mess of leaves. My girls were both happy with Cliff and my parents.So I just raked. I worked up a sweat. I let my mind drift and float and wander and fly around. I thought about past Thanksgivings, and being in high school and the tingling excitement of college friends coming back for homecoming and being together at a party – and that feeling of there being no past or future just the joy of the moment. I thought of being in college myself and the magic of coming home and seeing friends that I sorely missed. I thought about loved ones, who I will never see again, and the mischief we got into together and how good it feels to keep memories fresh.
As I thought about the past and allowed my thoughts to flow into the future, I found myself not worrying. I have unfairly saddled myself with an endless list of worries and what-ifs since I have become a grown-up and a mother. It is understandable, but a pointless use of my precious energy. As I raked and thought about the future I had fun with the possibilities and the lofty goals I want to accomplish. And instead of worrying that I wasn’t going to have time to do it all or the luck that I think I need, I just raked and dreamed.