Inspiration Monday - Whitney Houston

I was very happy for Spotify today.  I have been able to indulge all of my Whitney Houston listening needs.  Because as much as I have come to realize my enduring love for Whitney, I have nothing by her in my music catalogue – so I have been Spotifying Whitney all day long.  Now I must admit, up until I heard the sad news of her death, she has not been in my current music queue.   But I realize the she has been a part of the soundtrack of my life.

Music has the unique ability to instantly transport me to the place in time where I first heard or experienced it.    I listen to America or Jim Croce and I am a kid in the 1970’s in the way back of a station wagon, driving home from the beach with my parents,  my skin all crackly from the sand and salt water and I couldn’t be safer or happier.  Whenever I hear Nirvana’s In Bloom or Breed I am 21 and New York City is exploding at my fingertips.

While listening to Whitney Houston today I realized that it transports me to being a teenager in my best friend Vanessa’s bedroom.  We are doing what every teenage girl has done and will do until the end of time – singing songs together at the top of our lungs and sharing secrets and dreams.  I listen to early Whitney Houston and I am brought back to that place of teenage love and devastating heartbreak, and I realized her music was orchestrating so much of that time.

I listened to all of them tonight.  From The Greatest Love of All, (go and listen to the beauty in that song)  and You Give Good Love To Me  to  I Will Always Love You and I Have Nothing. Even though I haven’t listened to these songs in awhile  -  I know all of the lyrics! And I belted them out tonight, just like I always have.   By the time, I’m Every Woman came on, the girls and I were in full on dance party mode.

I love her music for the gift of remembering that being fifteen wasn’t always so terribly awkward as I usually paint it.  It was also moment of freedom and beauty while dancing with my best friend.

Inspiration Monday - Keeping it tight and happy

As I have written about in an earlier Inspiration Monday, I recently began running.  Now, I have not been hard core clocking in 50 miles a week, but I have enjoyed this new trick my body can do.  It started last summer when Cliff and I scored a treadmill at a church yard sale.  We haggled the guy down to twenty dollars and when we asked if it worked or not, Cliff answered our question by saying, “Well, what are you going to do – lie to us?  We are at a church!  It’s kinda bad Karma! We’ll take it!”

I began running on the treadmill in my basement – a very safe place for me to begin this new experiment of trying out the sport.  I have always envied some people as they run – they look so lithe and athletic.  I have tried on and off many times in the past, but I have felt clunky and blubbery with no rhythm whatsoever.  So I have stop started many times or just resorted to going for walks.  But walks can be boring and I wanted to overcome this insecurity I had with running.

But then, we purchased this treadmill I could really try and run in the privacy of my basement.  I was able to lumber and wog (walk and jog) and no one has to see me wheeze and figure out my groove.  I knew there would come a point when I would take my jogging outside – and two things changed my point of view and kicked my insecurities on their ass and pumped up my confidence.

The first was music – if it wasn’t for Mary J. Blige or freakin’ Foghat there is no way I would push myself as hard as I have sometimes.  Many times of the day I crave silence – but not when I am running.  I need it thumping and pumping and I am always looking for something else to get me moving.

The second confidence change is  – I pretend while I am running.   I pretend that I am my good friend, Renee.  Renee has an athletic perseverance to her running that I admire – and Renee is never afraid to be vocal as she runs.  So I pretend that I am Renee – because it gets me out of my head and it pushes me to run harder.

So as I am jogging  around the neighborhood and  I am listening to 90’s R&B cranked up high, I am most likely embarrassing the heck out of myself, as I do a lot of loud, “Oooh’s!” and “Alright!”  And I even throw in a “Do it!”  At any given moment, I may be air guitaring (which I never, ever do in real life)as I am snaking through the hood. 

In many ways I am in better shape than I was in my twenties – there was no way I could have ran two miles back then.  I have no idea what I look like, but I imagine that I look tough and strong – and I am having a ton of fun.

Inspiration Monday - Everyday Jodi!

This is my amazing friend Jodi displaying the most delicious chocolate Bundt cake.  I have been friends with Jodi since college - which was only five years a go – hardee-har-harr.   My Jodi has the unique ability to see most people in a positive angle – she is not judgmental (I can learn a lesson or two on that one) nor is she an unrealistic  Pollyanna.    Even though we don’t live a subway ride away like we used to, we try and see each other a few times a year.  This past weekend was one of those weekends that keep me going, and I ate that Bundt cake that she baked with love for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

You can see she is laughing – we were doing a ‘photo-shoot’ with her and the cake.  Her laugh is magic - it is this tinkling, guffaw of pleasure bursting from her – I live to make her laugh just to hear that sound.  I need to make her laugh my ring-tone on my phone, so I can hear it every day.

There are a myriad of reasons why I love my friend Jodi, but one aspect that I am jazzed by right now is her style.  She knows the right way to mix prints and how to pull off pointy witchie-poo shoes with flowery hair accessories.  She pulls it all together in her own enviable style.  When I am clothes shopping I pretend that I am Jodi – I channel her, imagining what would she be picking out.  Skulls! Ruffles and leopard print!  I think in my head, “What would Jodi wear?”   It works every time.

After spending time in her home this weekend, I am also just in awe at the beauty of her home and how she puts it all together.    Yes, of course her home is beautiful, because it is filled with a family and laughter – but come on, I really dig how she hangs pictures together .  This woman could have an empire dedicated to her style – I'd call it, Everyday Jodi.   Just her bathroom alone is a fantasy playground for her daughters, all pinks and Hello Kitty, flowery towels and mirrors and purple aliens.  I want that bathroom!

I came home from my weekend and I am now looking at my own home with a different eye.  How would Everyday Jodi fix up my desk and hang some cute pictures and make it a hub for creativity instead of a plank of wood with a computer and piles?  How would Everyday Jodi clean up my bedside table and transform it into a tranquil oasis of sleep?  I am going to pick a small section every week in my house and imagine how would, Everyday Jodi creatively decorate that section.   I am going to hang pictures that I have been meaning to get to.  I am going to re-purpose bowls and yard sale finds and bring my home to a more colorful and visually exciting place.   I have already placed an orange glass and metal table at my front door for my girls to dump their crap on when they come home.

Everyday Jodi!  Urban edge with hippy love crunch.

Inspiration Monday - err...what day is it?

I have humble expectations of myself to post a weekly Inspiration Monday.  Once a week, I write about what makes me smile and gives me that lift – a little tickle that gives my day to day some wings.  I have been cranking along, feeling good – and getting a rhythm with my writing.  They say writing is a muscle – if you don’t use it then it gets flabby.   I feel as though I am getting some nice tone and definition right now.  Right on I say.  Keep on truckin’. Sunday night I had an idea for this post that I was excited to work on.

And then the final push of the holiday has descended upon this house.  Did you know that I have two children?   They are eight and six and they believe in this guy named Santa and his flying animal friend Rudolph.  They are coming to town – soon.  So are my parents and my dad’s homemade manicotti. 

We have a few things to do around here -happy, fun, festive things.  But a few items to cross off the list and the to-do’s are occupying a large portion of my brain space.   I think at this very moment I am inspired to keep the mood light and moving forward and to embrace all of this.  And cut myself a little slack in the knowledge that I will not be writing the great American novel this week.

Inspiration Monday - This is what keeps me laughing at the supermarket

Many years ago, I had a friend who had a boyfriend named Brett.   Brett had a unique, smokey, quality to his body odor, that we called, “The shish-ka-bob”.  One Christmas season we were hanging out, laughing about Brett’s particular aroma and all things smokey.  We started making up new lyrics for songs and this line just stuck for The Christmas Song.  I can never, ever hear it without singing it…

“Brett’s nuts roasting on an open fire…”

We never got beyond the opening line to complete the song, so I repeat this line over and over throughout most of the season

Go on – see if it doesn’t stick in your head.  Happy Holidays!

Oh, and go over and wish my partner in crime Dorothea at My Mommy Bites a Happy Birthday!

Inspiration Monday - Zen and the art of raking leaves

The leaves came down late in the northeast this year.  Typically by Halloween the leaves are making their final stand, but by my birthday one week later, the trees are bare and the weather has shifted into a classic raw November.  (This is where you can cue the cheesy Axl Rose sway and start humming the chorus of November Rain.  I do every year.)  But this year, the weather has remained positively balmy and the leaves held on tight.  This is alright by me.

Over the weekend my parents were visiting for Thanksgiving – my favorite holiday.  I thoroughly enjoy this holiday because there is no pressure for presents or from the church I don’t belong to anymore.    All that is expected is to reflect on what goodness I have, to say thank you to the Universe, I love you and to eat and visit with family and friends. 

Sunday afternoon Sophie went to shoot hoops with Cliff and my dad.  My Mom and Katie were happily playing “Lost Kitty”, which involves my Mom “discovering’ Katie under the covers of the bed.  Katie then explains how her past owners threw her out a window and how she needs a home, and my mom adopts her.  They spend what seem to be hours chatting and grooming, and drinking endless bowls of pretend milk, ending with the two of them getting dressed for the day and Katie studiously watching my mom apply make-up, talking and chirping away. 

It was during this time, on an unseasonably warm Thanksgiving weekend, that I slipped into my backyard to quietly tackle the piles of leaves that were finally released from our grand oak trees.  I don’t mind yard work - especially when it is entered into on these rare and easy terms.  My nose wasn’t running from the cold weather, I wasn’t pressured to have-to rake because a snowstorm was on the way or I had a neighbor who was giving me the hairy eyeball from my mess of leaves.  My girls were both happy with Cliff and my parents. 

So I just raked.  I worked up a sweat.  I let my mind drift and float and wander and fly around.  I thought about past Thanksgivings, and being in high school and the tingling excitement of college friends coming back for homecoming and being together at a party – and that feeling of there being no past or future just the joy of the moment.  I thought of being in college myself and the magic of coming home and seeing friends that I sorely missed.  I thought about loved ones, who I will never see again, and the mischief we got into together and how good it feels to keep memories fresh.

As I thought about the past and allowed my thoughts to flow into the future, I found myself not worrying.   I have unfairly saddled myself with an endless list of worries and what-ifs since I have become a grown-up and a mother.  It is understandable, but a pointless use of my precious energy.  As I raked and thought about the future I had fun with the possibilities and the lofty goals I want to accomplish.  And instead of worrying that I wasn’t going to have time to do it all or the luck that I think I need, I just raked and dreamed.

Inspiration Monday - Run Sophie Run

Since September my oldest daughter Sophie has participated in an after school program called, Girls on the Run.  Their mission is “to inspire girls to be joyful, healthy and confident using a fun, experienced based curriculum which creatively integrates running.”    

 Each week, teachers led a group of fifteen third – fifth grade girls through discussions and activities designed to help build their self-esteem and connect them with a positive community of girls.  They talked about how to deal with gossiping, being left out, and ways to build self-confidence.  Along with this social piece they built in a running program -the end goal being a 5k event.  Every girl needed a partner to run with them.

 On Sunday, Sophie and I participated in the Girls on the Run 5k event together.   I followed Sophie’s lead in how to pace ourselves – and we walked most of it, with some running sprinkled in.  We listened to music, we talked a little bit, and held hands for most of the time.  Cliff and Katie were there to cheer us on, loud and proud with cowbells and a handmade sign.  For the last leg of the 5k, Katie joined Sophie and me and we crossed the finish line, all three Lazenby girls together.  It was really hard not blubbering with pride.

I am impressed by Sophie’s eight year old tenacity to be a part of a program that met twice a week for ten weeks, culminating in a 5k.  I am so grateful that my daughters have a program like this available to them.  I would have benefited from a program like Girls on the Run when I was eight. 

The other great boost the event provided was to get my butt out there again, running on a consistent, weekly basis.   I didn’t start running until last winter and when I tried it, I found it empowering to pound away, pushing myself and get sweaty and my heart pounding.   The fact is as long as I have music pumping away in my ears, I will run – and I love it.  It is simple and it makes me feel good.

So here’s to Girls on the Run, the teachers who made it happen and the girls who participated and completed this incredible program.   And here’s to pushing myself a little bit harder.

Katie looking up to her big sister.  Sophie showing off her medal.  And the sign made by Cliff, decorated by Katie.

Inspiration Monday - AHS

When Lost was over last year, there was a gaping void in my television viewing landscape. I was  devoted to Lost – Cliff and I would spend hours discussing the episodes each week and I faithfully read this blog, Long Live Locke, which provided thought provoking, insightful and witty analysis of each episode  So, I have been a little down and nothing seemed to fill the space left by Sawyer, Kate and John Locke. And Desmond.  Mmmmm, Desmond… I believed in those characters - I respect the writing on Lost – it seemed as though the writers took the position that the audience was smart, and that we cared about what was happening. 

To fill the hole left by the smoke monster, Cliff and I took up watching, True Blood.   Perfectly entertaining.   I’ll keep watching it, but I am not obsessed or inspired. And then I came across…

American Horror Story.   Or more specifically, Jessica Lange as Constance on American Horror Story.   My, oh my.

I am hooked on this show – it has elements that I love in smart, escapism T.V. like great actors and dead, creepy twins, but I wait each episode just to see Jessica Lange.  She is the most brilliant, sadistic and sexy southern belle I have ever had the pleasure of watching.   I have loved her since Tootsie, but I sadly wrote her off years ago after viewing her new face in the movie, Big Fish.  I do judge great actresses when they get such obviously bad plastic surgery.  I assume that all actresses have some work done - but her face made me sad.  It was Bruce Jenner too much.   But now, with American Horror story – wow.  All is forgiven. 

Whoever writes for her is from the twisted school of Tennessee Williams meets Stephen King.  I am in love with every line that she delivers.  She steals the show – and that is saying a great deal when she is competing with the juicy likes of Dylan McDermott’s bare ass.  Have you seen?

Inspiration Monday - Feelin' Fosse

Today is the debut of a weekly post for my blog - Inspiration Monday.  It will feature whatever is getting my juices flowing, or makes me dance or feel like myself.  It could be music, a book I am reading or maybe a pair of boots that make me feel like I can kick some ass.   I am inspired by the challenge of searching out and cultivating what inspires me.  Too often grown-up life can be filled with drudgery and an endless list of have-to-do's.  We all need to feel giddy and - inspired.

 Being my birthday, it is a time that I look back at where I've been and look forward to where I am going.    I have two pieces of music and performance that represent those feelings. 

The looking back is a clip of Liza Minnelli in the movie Cabaret.  There was a time that I was obsessed with all things Liza, Cabaret and anything by Bob Fosse.  Watching with song, I realized that this is still the case.  I love her dance, the song, and truth be told, I would wear that outfit everyday if I could.  We all have our comfort zone - and Liza's outfit hits it for me.  I get a zing watching it too, because I am still the girl who first discovered the magic of Liza and Fosse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxmz3RcNNBE

The second one comes from my friend Deb - she introduced me to this video and I cannot stop watching it.  I don't really know any other music by Bat for Lashes, but I cannot get enough of the song and the sinister vibe of this video.

http://youtu.be/EICkZWEzFGE

What inspires you this week?