Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Christmas in Rite Aid!

I ventured out to Target last week to try and score some cute stocking snuffers.  Try as I might I could not get into the mood.  Nothing seemed to fit or made me clap my hands with Christmas glee.  Rare for any trip to the mega store I left with nothing. Nothing!  In my despair, afraid that I was slipping into a Scroogian holiday mood - which is verboten with two kids who believe -  I ended posting on Facebook something like, "If I can't buy it at Goodwill or Rite Aid it's not ending up under my tree".  One friend suggested buying tampons for all and then another posted that this was the beginning of a great holiday song.   So my friend, and funny man Rick Crowley and I wrote this one together.  It has brought back the smile on my face and put the jingle in my step.

Christmas in Rite Aid

It’s that magical time of the year
Filled with egg nog, parties and good cheer
But life and get hectic and busy and you need to buy gifts
For loved ones deserve a present that fits
No need to go far a quick drive in your car
It’s Christmas in Rite Aid!

Light up your Strikes and roll your own smokes
Tampons, pads and two-liter cokes
Toenail clippers and a can of Raid
It’s Christmas in Rite Aid!

There’s a nip and chill in the air
So shower your loved ones with rollers for her hair
Or maybe some Metamucil and Pringles
Will make her holidays tingle
It’s Christmas in Rite Aid!

So let’s pop a few Zoloft’s and burp-free fish oil
Maalox, Aveno, a balm for that boil
A six-pack of Ensure and a plug-on from Glade
It’s Christmas in Rite Aid!

Burts Bees for your chapped lips and RID kill those lice
A romance novella and 99 cent spice
Grecian Formula in a box cuz your hair went and grayed
It’s Christmas in Rite Aid!

Everyone needs these items, there’s no need to be shy
We’ve all had diarrhea, crabs or a sty
No gift will be wasted when you buy what friends need
To take care of gas, stinky pits and each month when we bleed
Happy Holiday’s to everyone goodwill to all
Please save yourself a stressful trip to the mall
It’s Christmas in Rite Aid!


  1. What a riot! How does the music go? Can't wait for the video!

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